No One Would Miss Me
by Xoxoroxas
Summary: Roxas is still trying to get over his abusive boyfriend, with Axel's help of course. Written for AkuRoku Day 2011. Cutting, Emo-ness, Flashbacks, Rape, and Abuse. Pretty dark.


***Hey, Roxy here! I'm writing my new, awesome oneshot for AkuRoku day! Here is my present to you all! I really have no idea what I'm going to write, so I'm just writing a little intro! Okay, I think I got an idea…***

Roxas sat in the bathtub, pink-tinged water dripping down his arms as he poised his razorblade for another cut.

'God, I'm such a hypocrite, I used to hate emos.' He thought as he slashed his arm, then let his head rest on the rim of the bathtub.

But that had been before _it _happened. Before _He_ happened.

Roxas cut himself again, inflicting a deeper wound so that the memories rushing through his mind would get out.

He had said he loved him.

But that night…

It…Roxas hadn't been ready. And of course Seifer wouldn't listen to him.

Roxas cut even deeper this time, punishing himself for even thinking of that name.

Seifer.

Cut.

Seifer had promised that he loved Roxas. He said that he only bullied him before because he didn't know how to show it. And of course he didn't like Hayner. Of course Roxas wasn't just the backup plan.

Roxas sucked in a breath quickly, closing his eyes and putting the blade down temporarily.

Then, after five months of being with Seifer…

After Seifer kept beating him, then apologizing in the morning, so sweet Roxas swore he had cavities…

Seifer tied Roxas to the bed and gagged him.

Roxas could still _feel_ Seifer inside him.

He could still _taste_ the duct tape as he tried to bite through it.

He could still _see_ the lust clouded eyes.

He could still _hear_ Seifer's accidental yell of "Hayner!"

He could still _smell_ the stench of blood as Seifer cut his arms.

And he could also remember Seifer leaning so close afterwards and his lips brushing Roxas's ear as he whispered, _"I own you."_

Roxas opened his eyes and picked up the razor again, staring at his reflection in the cold metal.

But then, after Seifer let Roxas out of the ropes and Roxas ran away, he met Axel.

Axel had found the boy shivering in an alley.

Roxas replayed the scene in his mind.

***Flash***

**Roxas shuddered against the cold and hugged his hoodie closer to his body.**

**He hadn't had time to grab anything warmer. He had needed to get out.**

**But now he just waited with a lump in his stomach. He waited for Seifer to find him.**

**Another person rounded the corner, causing Roxas to jump once again. This man was very different from Seifer though. He had big red hair, and almond shaped eyes, unlike Seifer's dirty blonde hair hidden by a hat, and his always glaring eyes.**

**Roxas shuddered even more violently as he thought of his boyfriend.**

**He had to go back sometime, at least to get his stuff.**

**But he couldn't right now.**

**Meanwhile, the redhead frowned when he noticed the blonde shivering in the alley.**

"**Hey kid, aren't you a little young to be not at home? Ah, I'm a hypocrite, I ran out all the time." Axel said, grinning.**

"**No, I graduated three years ago." Roxas mumbled. It was Christmas break at the college he attended, so he didn't even have to return for classes.**

"**Oh, then why're you out here? It's freaking cold." The redhead pointed out.**

"**I'm very aware of that, thanks." Roxas retorted, looking at the ground.**

"**Hey, are you homeless? Cuz no one should be on the streets on Christmas Eve!" The redhead exclaimed. Roxas looked up again.**

"**It's Christmas Eve? He had me tied down that long...?" Roxas mumbled the last part to himself, so quiet that the taller man couldn't hear.**

"**Yeah, it's Christmas Eve. I've got nothing to do, so I'll do my good deed of the year. Maybe then Santa will bring me presents." The taller man joked, causing Roxas to slightly smile.**

**Well, either he could go home to his abusive boyfriends and risk getting raped again, or he could follow the mysterious redhead.**

**To Roxas, the choice was obvious.**

**He was glad that Seifer hadn't hit his face, otherwise there would be awkward questions.**

"**Sure, I'll go with you. I'm Roxas." He said, getting up to head over to the redhead.**

"**I'm Axel." The taller boy smiled.**

"**So, why were you shivering in an alley this fine Christmas Eve?" Axel asked, guiding the blonde to his house.**

"**I…Just needed to get away for a while." Roxas answered, hugging his hoodie even closer as he thought of his reason.**

"**Oh. Well do you want to call anyone? I'm sure someone's worried about you." Axel said, offering his phone.**

"**No thanks. My brother never answers and my best friends all were in the Twilight Tower bombing." Roxas said quietly, hanging his head.**

"**Oh, were they the kids that were sitting on the top? I can't believe that happened to the tower…It was so beautiful." The redhead said as softly.**

"**We used to hang out there all the time, just at sunset. I went to go get ice cream before I headed up to join them, but then I heard the boom and saw the tower falling…" Roxas trailed off, wondering why he was telling someone he barley knew this stuff.**

"**Yeah, my best friend, Xion, was getting on a train. She was going to Radiant Garden, but…she never made it." Axel said.**

"**Maybe I will try to call Sora. He might answer, after all it's Christmas Eve." Roxas sighed, remembering how much his twin loved Christmas.**

"**Here." Axel presented his phone and Roxas took it.**

**After three rings Sora answered.**

"**Who is this and how did you get my number?" Sora asked.**

"**Well, Merry Christmas to you too, little bro." Roxas laughed.**

"**Rox? Why aren't you on your phone?" Sora asked.**

"**I don't really have it with me..." Roxas trailed off.**

"**Please tell me you're not in jail..."**

"**No, I just left it at Seifer's place."**

"**You ran away? Thank God!" Sora exclaimed.**

"**I have to go back to get my stuff though. I can't hide forever." Roxas said wearily.**

"**You could..." Sora offered.**

"**No, I have to get the stuff that my friends left me." Roxas said with a note of finality in his voice.**

"**Okay. Just... don't go back too soon, kay? I want some of those bruises to fade." Sora sighed.**

"**How's Riku?" Roxas asked as Axel looked up, a little surprised by the name.**

"**He's fine. I'm gonna go out with him in a few minutes..." Sora trailed off.**

"**That's my cue to hang up so you can get ready. Tell Riku I say Merry Christmas! Bye Sor!" Roxas said, smiling a bit.**

"**Bye Rox. I'll be at the university next week, you have to tutor me in English!" Sora commanded.**

"**Fine." Roxas sighed, hanging up.**

"**I know Riku." Axel said, as he took back the phone.**

"**Really?" Roxas asked, looking around as they walked into an apartment building.**

"**Yeah. He knew Xion too. They used to date a while back. I think I remember Riku talking about Sora a lot." Axel recalled.**

"**Yeah, Sora and Riku were friends since elementary, but in middle school he moved here and we stayed at Destiny Islands." Roxas nodded.**

"**Hmm, I wonder if I should call my friends…Nah, I'll call em tomorrow." Axel said lazily.**

**Roxas nodded.**

"**Well."**

"**Yeah."**

"**Hmm."**

"**Wanna play Rockband?" Axel asked.**

"**YES." Roxas said, his eyes getting wide.**

**Axel laughed.**

***Flash***

That had been the best day Roxas had in a long time. He even stayed over for Christmas.

Then he had to go back.

And Seifer beat him so hard that he was surprised he could breathe.

So he grabbed his prized possessions and ran right back to that alley.

Where Axel found him yet again.

***Flash***

**Roxas was shivering, yet again, though he had a bigger jacket. He had grabbed the marbles that his friends had left him, along with Olette's piggy bank and bracelet, Pence's gameboy and bandana, and Hayner's struggle trophy and X necklace. He had them all stiffed in a backpack, along with his money and schoolbooks. He had grabbed his USB with all his school stuff too, so that was taken care of. And he had his necklace from his and Sora's parents, before they left.**

**But being cold wasn't the only reason that he was shivering. Seifer had raped him again. He was curled in a tight ball, trying to forget.**

**Before Seifer had headed out he had hissed into Roxas's ear, **_**"If you ever leave like that again... Even Sora won't be able to find your body."**_

**Then he heard footsteps****.**

'**Crap!' Roxas thought frantically, trying to make himself smaller.**

"**Roxas?" ****a familiar voice called, seeing the blonde boy's head.**

**In response Roxas curled up even smaller.**

"**Roxas, it's me, Axel." The redhead said, trying to move the boy's hands from his face.**

"**Don't touch me…you'll only make it worse when he finds me." Roxas whispered, aware that he was making no sense.**

"**Rox, what happened?" Axel asked softly, succeeding in removing one of the hands.**

**He gasped quietly when he saw the two huge black eyes and the split lip that had appeared on Roxas's face.**

**Roxas burst out sobbing.**

"**I…my boyfriend…he said…and I..." Roxas sobbed, not at all coherent.**

"**It's okay Rox, I'll take you to my place. We can talk about it there." Axel promised. Roxas nodded and followed the redhead to his apartment.**

**And he told him everything.**

"**So, Seifer beat you and raped you? But…why were you even with him?" Axel asked.**

"**I…He said that he loved me. And…I believed him. When he did…hit me…he always apologized and stuff, I thought he was just mad about other things. I thought I loved him." Roxas said quietly, looking at the table he was sitting by.**

"**Rox…why don't you stay with me for a while? I'll keep you safe from him." Axel offered.**

"**I…I can fight for myself, it's just…I don't know. I fought back when he raped me, but…I was no match for him. He works out every day. If I had a weapon, that'd be a whole other story." Roxas said, biting his swollen lip.**

"**We should get you to a hospital..." Axel trailed off.**

"**No. I'm fine, I'm just…tired." Roxas sighed.**

***Flash***

Roxas cut again at the memory. He wished they wouldn't keep coming.

After that he lived with Axel. The redhead was a year older than him, and went to the same college. He stayed with him for weeks until Seifer figured out where Roxas was.

He had hidden in the bushes by the apartment sidewalk. When Roxas was walking into the building, he wrapped a rope around the younger blonde's neck.

Seifer tightened it until Roxas passed out, then shoved him into his car and drove back to his house.

When Roxas woke up again he was bleeding and bruised.

And then Seifer tied him to the bed.

But by some miracle Axel got there in time.

It seemed that Sora gave him directions.

And he rescued Roxas.

And here they were now.

Two months later.

But today, Seifer had appeared again.

Today, he leaned over as he passed Roxas on the sidewalk.

And today he whispered "You're still mine." Into Roxas's ear.

Which is why he was in the bathroom.

Again.

He heard the front door open.

Axel's home.

Roxas didn't care. He just cut deeper.

Axel called out his name.

Roxas didn't respond.

Cut.

Axel knocked on the door.

Cut.

"Roxas?" Axels' voice asked.

Cut.

"Are you in there?"

Cut.

"Because if you don't answer I'm coming in."

Cut.

"Okay." Axel said, turning the doorknob.

It was locked.

Cut.

"Roxas, I know you're in there, please open the door." Axel begged.

But Roxas could barley hear. His vision was fuzzy from blood loss. He smiled to himself.

He could leave.

He heard Axel picking the lock frantically.

Roxas used all his strength to lift the blade yet again.

Cut.

He let his arms fall limp, his vision blurring even faster. He was faintly aware of his shallow breaths.

He saw a fuzzy blob of red rush towards him, and he felt himself being lifted out of the water.

Then there was blackness.

Roxas awoke to the warmth of someone's arms wrapped around him.

It felt nice.

He was also aware that he was soaking wet.

He opened his eyes to see Axel rocking back and forth, mumbling to himself as he held Roxas. The blonde looked down at the new bandages covering the cuts he had made.

"Axel." He said faintly, trying to sit up. Axel started.

"Roxas! What were you thinking? You could've died! What you're doing to yourself will destroy you!" The redhead exclaimed.

"No one would miss me." Roxas said quietly.

"That's not true!" Axel yelled, leaning down and pressing his lips on the slightly softer ones of the blonde. "I would." He said quietly after he drew away."

"Axel…why...? Do you like me?" Roxas asked, using the middle school terms of "liking someone".

Axel blushed.

"Yeah. I…I think I love you." the redhead admitted, looking down.

Roxas threw his arms around the taller boy's neck and kissed him, startling the redhead, but Axel soon smiled against the kiss and began to move his own lips with the blonde.

"I…I think I love you too." Roxas said quietly.

***Wow, that didn't go as I expected it would. But then again, I had no plan. You like? You hate? I don't care, I loved writing it.***


End file.
